There comes a time that certain dreams must be laid to rest. The sleeper wakes from his slumber and looks upon the reality that silent hopes had masked over a rotten face. That moment of realisation when the pain of desire outweighs the pain of truth.
I had hoped that from the ashes of despair a new relationship could flourish and grow as time turned love into a solid friendship that could form the foundations of a future built on the past. But the pressure was too great, the walls too weak, and the decay begun before the bricks were laid, and tumbling to the floor they created a graveyard of precious memories; each dated, catalogued and destined to fade hidden under the passing of time.
I’m sorry I could not provide the things that you needed. Failing as a lover, failing as a friend. You fell out of love with me so silently that I did not notice the death song being played behind closed doors to lovers new and old. What more can I give you when already I have poured as much as I can into you? Each day I live is filled with the pain of your absence. Its depths so great, so deep, that all light dies before it even reaches the first sight of your naked form that now lies, warm and content, within the arms of someone new.
If I could spend just one moment together, share one more tender kiss, then I could die content and at peace, with my soul exploding in an eruption of satisfaction at the knowledge that everything meant the same for you. But the dreamer wakes alone; your side of the bed cold and vacant like the last time your eyes gazed upon me as our bodies entwined in our final orgasm. The winter has firmly set in and drained us of our warmth.
Farewell my friend, my love. Farewell to the centre of my world.
Farewell My Friend, My Lover was published as 58 in the poetry collection The Voice That Betrayed published in 2014.